Turtles and butterfly’s

This is my first blog post for a while, so here’s a little update. It’s written by me and Chloe after an amazing weekend last week full of challenges but we sailed through. Together we share a lot of difficulties, when we speak about our past and current struggles it’s like looking in a mirror. Together we make each other so much stronger. Being best friends we find doing challenges we both fear much more beneficial and rewarding when we succeed together. We turn negative associations and memories into positive achievements. We often sit back and reminisce on how we used to present and act to others. “Crazy” some people might describe. We can now giggle about the little moments of crisis which we think is a good way to deal and recognise the recent past. You could say we have a very dark sense of humour at times but you kind of have too in these situations! We shock ourselves on how far we truly have come. We aren’t free of all our struggles and fears but oh my we are miles ahead of the stage we once were. We look at each other and see and feel so similar. When we get emotional and talk about our past, we feel like it’s describing the others mind. It’s scary sometimes. It was only when we were both discharged we sat down and had the direct chats and realised that’s why when inpatient we related so well. I mean we always new from little hints of understanding along the way that others didn’t have. So sub continuously we new. We used to hate when we would share bits and bobs of our stories. We hated the amount of times we would say “oh my god same” at times we felt fake. We thought maybe it might appear to the other that we were trying to be competitive with our illnesses. Being in a inpatient environment is like living in a little bubble of mental chaos. Although on paper your identical your triggers and struggles are often so different, nearly always. Mental illness is very complex like that. That’s why it was so confusing to see how similar we are. As we got to know each other and ourselves better we learnt it was different. We learnt to trust ourselves and reassure that we weren’t being fake. We were as genuine as we could be which was sometimes even more shockingly scary. Our beliefs and outlooks on our mental health was so different to others we were around yet we were all struggling the same level of internal pain. Others had different struggles and triggers so therefore there outlook on their situation they were in was always going to be different. Mental health and eating disorders can be caused by many things and are so diverse. That’s maybe why it was so scary to find a pair so alike. Each day we learn more and we will continue to do so as we travel up the recovery road. Chloe’s family that she is living with went on holiday so I came up to babysit chlo to keep her company and to make sure she didn’t set the place on fire!😂 Lauren was busy so it was just us 2 for the weekend. We visited Canterbury and Westfield. We made some blueberry muffins and peanut butter pancakes. The pair of us were like old granny’s we even went for a walk in the dark, something neither of of us are a fan of. A few bottles of wine later we learnt Oreos dunked in tea was the perfect hangover cure. It’s these little weekends together that make recovery and all the rest that comes with it all worthwhile. It may not sound very exciting to you but when the little things in life are taken away, when you get them back again it feels like Christmas has arrived. It’s a motivation to not slip back into old negative habits because then these moments will be taken away again. It’s not worth it! All our love and hugs, Poppy🐢 & Chloe🦋