So I haven't written in a little while and I want to get back into posting regularly! So here it goes, a little update on things so far. I don't think there's much point presenting everything has been perfect because it hasn't. That's just life though, things do go up and down and I think it's just about accepting that that's it's okay. We're allowed to feel sad and to struggle a little more. That's the thing with recovery it's not linear, it goes up and down and all over the place! After spending 3 and a half years being told what to do and When to do it was a big adjustment when I got home with all the freedom that it includes. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love being at home but it's just so different from the structure and rules of an inpatient ward. So when I left the eating disorder unit food started to become a bit of a struggle. I was just unsure about what to eat and when to eat it. I wanted to prove to everyone I was better than everyone said I was. That I was fine with my relationship with food and I wanted to destroy that 'anorexic' part of me.
So it's been my first week of freedom, I've been keeping myself very busy and doing lots of wonderful things. It's been even better with all the sunshine. I guess I've been reflecting a lot on my time in hospital. I think finally accepting all the things that have happened is an inportant part of moving on. To be honest I am finding it quite hard letting go of how bad things really were. Even though there has been so much focus on fighting the stigma relating to mental health problems and raising awareness the things that happen behind the closed doors of inpatient units still never quite make the news. Inpatient services have their uses but long complicated admissions like mine can actually be quite damaging physically and mentally. Being admitted to a hospital or being kept in hospital against your will is mostly used when someone is not able to keep themselves safe outside a hospital environment. For a year and a half I was put on a section 3 which enables them t...
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