So I haven't written in a little while and I want to get back into posting regularly! So here it goes, a little update on things so far. I don't think there's much point presenting everything has been perfect because it hasn't. That's just life though, things do go up and down and I think it's just about accepting that that's it's okay. We're allowed to feel sad and to struggle a little more. That's the thing with recovery it's not linear, it goes up and down and all over the place! After spending 3 and a half years being told what to do and When to do it was a big adjustment when I got home with all the freedom that it includes. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love being at home but it's just so different from the structure and rules of an inpatient ward. So when I left the eating disorder unit food started to become a bit of a struggle. I was just unsure about what to eat and when to eat it. I wanted to prove to everyone I was better than everyone said I was. That I was fine with my relationship with food and I wanted to destroy that 'anorexic' part of me.
Describing what it’s like to live with PTSD and depression can sometimes be hard. If you haven’t experienced it, imagine a weight constantly pulling you down. Some days you have the strength to fight it, get on with life. Other days It debilitating and you just don’t have the energy to. Being depressed is obviously not something anyone chooses and can’t alway be easily solved. In reality someone can be completely consumed by mental illness but it can’t always be seen. There is no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to treatment either. Everyone is so different. I have been receiving treatment since I was 14 (I’m now 20) that has included countless medications, therapy’s and hospital admissions . Over the years i’ve Learnt a great deal about myself and come across some amazing people. I’ve learnt how to talk, how to trust, how to smile and what it’s like to live again after years of just surviving. September last year I suffered quite a big relapse. I’d shut down, pushed everyone away and
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