So I haven't written in a little while and I want to get back into posting regularly! So here it goes, a little update on things so far. I don't think there's much point presenting everything has been perfect because it hasn't. That's just life though, things do go up and down and I think it's just about accepting that that's it's okay. We're allowed to feel sad and to struggle a little more. That's the thing with recovery it's not linear, it goes up and down and all over the place! After spending 3 and a half years being told what to do and When to do it was a big adjustment when I got home with all the freedom that it includes. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love being at home but it's just so different from the structure and rules of an inpatient ward. So when I left the eating disorder unit food started to become a bit of a struggle. I was just unsure about what to eat and when to eat it. I wanted to prove to everyone I was better than everyone said I was. That I was fine with my relationship with food and I wanted to destroy that 'anorexic' part of me.
I have been going out a lot recently and really enjoying myself. I feel so free and it's amazing to escape the drama of being on the ward. It's crazy to think back to 6 months ago when I couldn't stay outside for more than a few minutes. The noise and being out in the open scared me so much, going out was a massive challenge for me! Now I love exploring, It's been amazing seeing the sights of London and doing a bit of shopping. I've pushed myself to do all sorts recently! I've tackled the tube and even a bus over the past few weeks. All my love Pops x A beautiful evening going to the aquarium to see my favourite thing..turtles🐢
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