So it's been my first week of freedom, I've been keeping myself very busy and doing lots of wonderful things. It's been even better with all the sunshine.
I guess I've been reflecting a lot on my time in hospital. I think finally accepting all the things that have happened is an inportant part of moving on. To be honest I am finding it quite hard letting go of how bad things really were. Even though there has been so much focus on fighting the stigma relating to mental health problems and raising awareness the things that happen behind the closed doors of inpatient units still never quite make the news. Inpatient services have their uses but long complicated admissions like mine can actually be quite damaging physically and mentally.
Being admitted to a hospital or being kept in hospital against your will is mostly used when someone is not able to keep themselves safe outside a hospital environment. For a year and a half I was put on a section 3 which enables them to do this. It also gives them the power to force any treatment they think you need even if you don't want it. Originally I was it on a section for a very goood reason however towards the end of my treatment as I started to recover the section made life so hard. Even getting the doctors to agree to allow me to leave the hospital was a weekly fight. I had to fight so hard with them about everything from big things like home leave to silly small things like when I was allowed to have a shower. It became ridiculous, they had complete control over my life and there was nothing I could do about it. I was under a section because it made life easier for them and it no longer felt like it was for my benefit at all.
Once I turned 18 there was so much confusion over where I would be going. There were so many thoughts and ideas, everyone had an opinion. People who had never met me had control and we're making decisions that would massively effect my life. I was trapped on a ward with no way out, passing the hours just sat in my room waiting to be updated with what had been decided. It was just meeting after meeting and I wasn't even allowed to attend. It got to the point where mental health professionals were arguing and I was stuck in the middle with no idea what to do. It felt like each person was trying to convince me that their idea of my future treatment was the 'right' option. When at the end of the day it was pretty much out of control. This had a massive effect on my mental state and the uncertainty was horrible to live with.
The transition between children's services is so often handled very badly and this is how young adults going through the same thing are completely let down by mental health services. I was very lucky and have a brilliant adult team but so many aren't as lucky as me. People can get lost in the system and never receive the help they need. This can have awful out comes that could have been prevented if the right treatment was received. It needs to be changed and more specialist adult teams like mine need to be put in place to support people going through the transition. However there just simply isn't the funding for it. Children's units sometimes actually use adult services as a threat. You often hear things like 'if you don't make a change you'll end up on a adult ward and you wouldn't like that' this is incredibly sad. As it happens my experience was quite positive but I know so many peoples aren't. It just simply isn't good enough. However I could write so much so I'll stop here. I just hope in the future something will change.
All my love
Pops
xxx
I guess I've been reflecting a lot on my time in hospital. I think finally accepting all the things that have happened is an inportant part of moving on. To be honest I am finding it quite hard letting go of how bad things really were. Even though there has been so much focus on fighting the stigma relating to mental health problems and raising awareness the things that happen behind the closed doors of inpatient units still never quite make the news. Inpatient services have their uses but long complicated admissions like mine can actually be quite damaging physically and mentally.
Being admitted to a hospital or being kept in hospital against your will is mostly used when someone is not able to keep themselves safe outside a hospital environment. For a year and a half I was put on a section 3 which enables them to do this. It also gives them the power to force any treatment they think you need even if you don't want it. Originally I was it on a section for a very goood reason however towards the end of my treatment as I started to recover the section made life so hard. Even getting the doctors to agree to allow me to leave the hospital was a weekly fight. I had to fight so hard with them about everything from big things like home leave to silly small things like when I was allowed to have a shower. It became ridiculous, they had complete control over my life and there was nothing I could do about it. I was under a section because it made life easier for them and it no longer felt like it was for my benefit at all.
Once I turned 18 there was so much confusion over where I would be going. There were so many thoughts and ideas, everyone had an opinion. People who had never met me had control and we're making decisions that would massively effect my life. I was trapped on a ward with no way out, passing the hours just sat in my room waiting to be updated with what had been decided. It was just meeting after meeting and I wasn't even allowed to attend. It got to the point where mental health professionals were arguing and I was stuck in the middle with no idea what to do. It felt like each person was trying to convince me that their idea of my future treatment was the 'right' option. When at the end of the day it was pretty much out of control. This had a massive effect on my mental state and the uncertainty was horrible to live with.
The transition between children's services is so often handled very badly and this is how young adults going through the same thing are completely let down by mental health services. I was very lucky and have a brilliant adult team but so many aren't as lucky as me. People can get lost in the system and never receive the help they need. This can have awful out comes that could have been prevented if the right treatment was received. It needs to be changed and more specialist adult teams like mine need to be put in place to support people going through the transition. However there just simply isn't the funding for it. Children's units sometimes actually use adult services as a threat. You often hear things like 'if you don't make a change you'll end up on a adult ward and you wouldn't like that' this is incredibly sad. As it happens my experience was quite positive but I know so many peoples aren't. It just simply isn't good enough. However I could write so much so I'll stop here. I just hope in the future something will change.
All my love
Pops
xxx
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