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A little trip to London

So today I achieved something pretty massive for me. I traveled up to London on my own for the first time, something I never even imagined I would be able to do. Over the passed few months my confidence has grown so much. There was a time I felt so anxious I couldn't even step outside, I couldn't talk to new people especially when it came to asking for things or even make decisions. After spending months behind closed doors every time I stepped outside it felt like my head was spinning. Trying to make sense of all the loud sounds, all the smells and making sure I knew where all the people were. I hated people coming close to me, loud sudden noises and massive open spaces scared me. It was all so overwhelming for quite a long time but slowly I built my confidence back up. Now I'm loving the independence and freedom. I still find it hard at times, like in big crowds or when people get so close to me I feel trapped but to be honest that isn't enjoyable for anyone is it? Decision making is still a bit of a downfall. Not that long ago I seem to remember just sitting down in a ball in the middle of a supermarket In lanzarote because not being able to read the labels of food was all kinds of stressful, not my finest moment. Anxiety is a horrible thing and is really underplayed by a lot of people, it can affect people in so many different ways, it ruled my life for a very long time and it's great to finally be getting it under control. After a rough few months I finally feel like things are moving forward again. I have so many lovely and wonderful things to look forward to in the next few months! Including a two week trip to Sri Lanka. It's been a dream of mine for such a long time and I still can't quite believe it's happening. I feel like a very lucky girl at the moment. 

Well today's put a huge smile on my face and I'm ready to tackle another week. I start college on Monday, I have to say I'm nervous but also very excited. Things are finally falling into place again and it's a lovely feeling.

Don't wait for everything to be perfect before you decide to enjoy your life. 

All my love 
Pops 

xxx

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